It'll be two years and I still have no closure with Chris Cornell's death. But my heavy heartache ceasing over the seasons.
May,18th approaching marks a sensitive time for me as I'm sure it's the same with others. With that, what I discuss and present here may be upsetting. My only intention is to demonstrate specific details that's come to my attention a month ago. Nevertheless, what I've presented entirely so far along with my thoughts, feelings and opinions on Chris's death did not please everyone.
Of coarse, I try to keep respectful. Several things with Chris's abrupt passing I couldn't ignore and I had to speak my mind, a powerful obligation to be his voice. I hold so much love and respect for Chris, a fellow Cancerian who's not only greatly inspired me, but has expressed and demonstrated triumph over the dark moments of his past. A desire for change, a desire to continue creating more music and especially, a desire to live.
As an aspiring musician myself, I've accepted greatly that there's always going to be hatred aimed at those who open their heart and soul to the world, expressing ourselves and our personal truth.
I have always been a sensitive one.
What I feel deeply for Chris I hadn't realized I harbored until the morning of Thursday, May,18th.
I hold the utmost respect and condolences to close friends and family of Chris's. One of many artists that helped me grow into the person that I am. With the unlikelihood of anyone of significance to Chris coming across all I've written here, I hold no ill intentions and I'm simply one among several fans who felt a great loss on that day.
" You don't know what drives somebody to do that, but if I ever committed suicide, I would do it in a way that meant no one ever knew that it was suicide - because to me, the biggest fear of killing myself would be what it would do to my friends and family." "If things are fucked enough that I want to kill myself, the last thing I want to do is go out and really fucking hurt a bunch of other people." - Chris Cornell in 1994 reflecting on the death of Kurt Cobain; Tales from the Crypt! 55th paragraph.
This beautiful portrait of Chris by Jesse Frohman. One of many of my favourite photographers.
“If I think about the evolution of my life as it appears in songs for example, Higher Truth is a great example of a record I wouldn’t have been able to write, and part of that is in essence because there was a period of time there where I didn’t expect to be here. . .,”
“And now not only do I expect to be here, and I’m not going anywhere, but I’ve had the last 12 years of my life being free of substances to kind of figure out who the substance-free guy is, because he’s a different guy. Just by brain chemistry, it can’t be avoided. I’m not the same, I don’t think the same, I don’t react the same. And my outlook isn’t necessarily the same. My creative endeavors aren’t necessarily the same. And one of the great things about that is it enabled me to kind of keep going artistically and find new places and shine the light into new corners where I hadn’t really gone before. And that feels really good.”- Chris Cornell in 2015.What Chris Cornell Has Said About Depression and Addiction published May, 18th/17 under OVERCOMING ADDICTION.
As you should know,
I absolutely do not believe Chris ended his own life on the night of Wed, May, 17th/17.
I absolutely do not believe Chris abused any prescription medications or illegal drugs from the beginning of his healthy, productive sobriety to the last years of his life.
I absolutely do not believe Chris suffered an alleged relapse in 2016 claimed only by his wife Vicky Karayiannis.
Anecdotal evidence, conjecture and the over exaggeration of specific medications have been used to support Chris's supposed addiction problems. The claims of prescription drugs, illegal drugs ("track marks" story heavily suggested by TMZ) the quick ruling of suicide and the hasty cremation of Chris I still have issues with.
The following writers are what I found to be the best covering the details surrounding Chris's mysterious death. Before continuing, read what they have written, including my own post covering the post-mortem report. At the end of the day, I do advise that everyone conduct their own research.
Post-Mortem Report Breakdown.
Chris's Shoulder Injury.
Two different news articles were published on the date of Feb, 21st/2018. Vicky states that Chris endured a shoulder injury, and was prescribed benzodiaepine to help him sleep. Variety erroneously notes benzodiaepine as a painkiller, while Canoe correctly notes the medication to treat anxiety.
Vicky says that his behavior changed after he was prescribed the painkiller benzodiazepine, approximately a year before his death, to help him sleep after a shoulder injury. -Variety.
Chris Cornell’s widow has called out the rocker’s doctor for prescribing him a drug deemed unsuitable for recovering addicts to treat a shoulder injury a year before his death.The Soundgarden frontman, 52, had been sober since 2003, but his wife, Vicky Cornell, reveals he suffered a relapse in 2016 – and she believes that ultimately led to his suicide in May 2017."
Approximately a year before he died, he was prescribed a Benzodiazepine (anti-anxiety medication) to help him sleep,” she told TV show Good Morning America. “He had torn his shoulder. He complained that the pain in his shoulder would wake him up.” -Canoe.
Chris Cornell’s widow has called out the rocker’s doctor for prescribing him a drug deemed unsuitable for recovering addicts to treat a shoulder injury a year before his death. Cornell, 52, had been sober since 2003, but his wife, Vicky Cornell, reveals he suffered a relapse in 2016 – and she believes that ultimately led to his suicide in May, 2017. -Noise11.com. Published Feb, 22nd/2018
In all three articles, it is explicitly stated that benzodiazepine was prescribed to Chris to treat his shoulder injury, but the fact of the matter is, bezodiazepine IS NOT prescribed to treat painful bodily injuries.
What are benzodiazepines? -Drugs.com Benzodiazepines are a class of medications that work in the central nervous system and are used for a variety of medical conditions, such as anxiety, seizures, and for alcohol withdrawal. Benzodiazepines appear to work by blocking excessive activity of nerves in the brain and other areas in the central nervous system. As a class, benzodiazepines are similar in how they work in the brain but have different potencies and durations of actions. Because of this, some benzodiazepines work better than others in the treatment of particular conditions. Common examples of benzodiazepines include alprazolam (Xanax), diazepam (Valium) and lorazepam (Ativan).Common benzodiazepine uses:
-to induce relaxation and loss of memory of medical procedures or surgery
-to reduce anxiety (anxiolytic)
-to treat or prevent seizures
-alcohol withdrawal treatment
Chris indeed suffered a "severe shoulder strain" during his "Second Songbook Tour" back in 2013; 3 shows in total were cancelled in order for him to recover.
Chris Cornell Announces Solo Acoustic Fall Tour. Published Aug, 8th 2013
Chris Cornell postpones Delaware how do to injury. Published Nov, 27th 2013
Chris Cornell cancels remainder of tour due to injury. Published Dec, 4th 2013
What shoulder injury was Vicky referring to? Did Chris injure his shoulder again in 2016, the same year she claims that he relapsed, or was it the same shoulder injury Chris sustained from 2013?
The "exercise" bands.
The video clip (published August 9th/2018) is from a user I found on Youtube, John Spiro, through another user's video covering Chris's death. Spiro stated that the band was for shoulder therapy (sort comments from newest to see Spiro's comment) and that "the resistance band was 5feet long looped around the neck most likely 4 1/2 feet" and was part of a 3 piece kit! (His response within the band video when I asked him what brand the infamous red band was.) When I inquired about the specific brand of the red tube, Spiro responded back stating that the band was "no longer available" and that "the anchor was sold separately". Refer to Gilmore when he pointed out that the door anchor was a mismatch to the band.
John Spiro states in his video description that "The same exact resistance band and anchor that was used on Chris Cornell." How he got into possession of the exact same band I have no clue. Searching for a photograph of the exact same band I had no success. I wondered if Spiro is in possession of the actual band. I've pressed him further on his channel, (the only way to contact him) but received no response. I ended up deleting my question asking if I could buy the band off him! Morbid I know.
The band being part of a 3 piece kit explains the presence of the 2 other bands, green and blue, photographed at the scene.
Referring again to Gilmore, the red band with the word "heavy" labeled on it, and whether or not it would've supported the weight of Chris, who was 180lbs, was left undetermined due to the unknown brand of the band. Exercise bands usually have a resistance up to 100lbs, but with just the word "heavy" labeled on the band, the maximum resistance remained a mystery.
The brand is called "LiveUp Sports" and the bands came in a set called "expander". The particular expander set of exercise bands found in Chris's hotel room discontinued in 2015.
I've searched endlessly for the exact same band as photographed in the bathroom of room 1136 but couldn't find it. I had no problem finding and purchasing the Bionic door anchor, a similar rubber band and similar black handle.
Here's my purchase of the discontinued LiveUp Sports Expander Set.
They're of a different version and colours:
Liveup Expander Set:
Resistance tubes provide resistance for great upper body toning of arms, chest, shoulder and back
Ideal for home, gym or travel
Kit includes: Light, medium, and heavy resistance tubes
For Pilates, Physical Therapy, Fitness, Toning
Foam handles (Same foam handles from crime scene photographs.)
The grey band of the set I purchased is the "heavy" resistance, rubber and hollow. I compared my band to the red band photographed in room #1136.
Following is solely for demonstrative purposes only. The images may be upsetting.
Replicating the "noose" photographed on the bathroom floor of #1136.
The "noose" photographed on the bathroom floor. Room #1136.
The grey "heavy" resistance band I purchased has a maximum resistance of 100lbs My own weight of 140lbs would indeed snap the band! Also, just like Spiro's measurement of the red band being "5feet long looped around the neck most likely 4 1/2 feet.", I found the measurement to be the same for my band as well.
The bands are color coded to indicate resistance: LIGHT, MEDIUM & HEAVY. The red tube labeled HEAVY for resistance. Look closely, and you'll see that the blue band would be the "medium" resistance, based on its slight thickness from the green band, green being the "light" resistance.
The product ID# LS3217 is the same for the different versions pictured below. The different versions indicating a few upgrades to the product in the same year, the tube set first appeared and discontinued in 2015. (According to Ysoota, March 27, 2015 and on Amazon, 21 April 2015.) The latest upgraded version of the tube set #LS3217 is still viewable on the Liveup Sports website here.
Notice the nearly identical ends of these tubes, compared to the tubes photographed in the bedroom and bathroom of room #1136.
In this version, either the red or the blue band would be the "heavy" resistance.
If anyone has the exact same resistance bands as the bands photographed in room 1136, or you think the band is of another brand, please let me know.
Now, going back to my question from earlier, What shoulder injury was Vicky referring to? Did Chris injure his shoulder again in 2016, the same year she claims that he relapsed, or was it the same shoulder injury Chris sustained from 2013?
Referring back to the two articles I linked above, Chris Cornell postpones Delaware show do to injury & Chris Cornell cancels remainder of tour due to injury, Chris strained his shoulder in 2013 and cancelled 3 shows of his Song Book tour of 2013 in order to rest! Whether or not Chris took painkillers in 2013 to relieve shoulder pain I can't say. However, due to Chris's committed sobriety from 2003, I strongly doubt he took any painkillers.
From what I've gathered, Chris's possession of resistance bands for the possibility to aid in physical therapy for his strained shoulder makes sense! Chris's strained shoulder was reported to be severe in 2013, and perhaps the injury carried on mildly for three years. Healing times for physical injuries vary from the amount of physical activity one engages in.
The year of 2015 was the debut and discontinuation of the 3 bands present in Chris's hotel room on the night of May,17th/2017! With that, Vicky referred back to 2013 of Chris's shoulder injury and allegedly, Vicky mentioning Chris's strained shoulder of 2013 would serve as a legitimate reason as to why Chris "would be back" on drugs! "Benzodiazepine" as an aid for sleep and relief of pain was evidently misinterpreted in Variety.
Had Chris's shoulder strain been painful enough that he "couldn't sleep", and according to Noise11.com prescribed, "Benzodiazepine" to treat a shoulder injury a year before his death, BUT BENZODIAZEPINE IN ACTUALITY IS NOT PRESCRIBED TO TREAT PHYSICAL INJURIES, he sure as hell went through the painful agony while TOURING world wide for 56 shows during his Higher Truth tour in 2016, (Personally seeing him live fit and strong on Sunday, July, 24/2016) 29 shows in 2015 solely for his North American tour for Higher Truth, which the majority of the time, CHRIS PHYSICALLY PLAYED all of his acoustic guitars with no qualms! Additionally, there was the first time reunion tour for the 25th anniversary of Temple Of The Dog. Also taking place in 2016. Then, there was the one night anti-inaugural ball of 2017 (Chris's arms wide out and rising, clapping, Chris jumping and at one point, Chris dives into the crowd, arms out and all) and lastly, the short Soundgarden 2017 Spring tour with Chris energetically (excluding the last gig in Detroit, not entirely energetic) moving around to all songs, pacing the stage, gripping onto the mic and PHYSICALLY PLAYED all of his guitars!
Oh, also in 2015, Chris performed with the Seattle Symphony Orchestra!
No cancelled shows of the last 3 years of his life. No agonizing pain laced over his face due to a bodily injury that I can remember!
In regards to fitness, Chris has been quoted that he doesn't use equipment and prefers cardio based workouts; during his time off he rests.
So you decided to get back into shape. What did you do?
"I prefer not to use any machines. I focus a lot on cardio, which is what I do when I'm on stage. I also am into isometric workouts. When I'm mentally distraught, I work out. I'm always hiking or walking these days. And I still love my mountain bike."
So now that you're back on the road, do you get to work out?
"At this point, I'm performing three shows in a row for more than two hours at a time and then I'd get a day off. That is my workout. I don't do anything on the off days so I can prepare for the next show. I need that day off to rest to be able to sing that long." Soundgarden's Chris Cornell on staying fit published May, 14/2013
Vicky Karayiannis's stories became suspicious to me a month after Chris's passing. To be brief, Alternative Nation, a news based website for rock music, and quite a questionable reliable source for authenticity for me, has been the primary mouthpiece for Vicky's several changed stories. In some cases, I believe the stories to be concocted by Vicky herself.
The following articles from Alt-Nation that I've discussed previously strongly stood out to me. The convenient emergence of these stories after the release of Chris's clean toxicology report, indicated to me that the narrative of Ativan and Chris's history of past substance abuse was heavily being pushed.
I discuss an alleged suicide note from a fan's father and the "dangers of Ativan."
I discuss an alleged email sent by Chris to an unknown colleague admitting he had relapsed.
I discuss an alleged exchange between herself (Vicky) and the Medical Examiner Theodore Brown M.D. This supposed conversation happened a month after Vicky's Twitter exchange with Renee DeCamillis with Vicky stating that the medical examiner statement of, "these drugs did not contribute to the cause of death" really meant that they were not the "mechanical cause."
Under REGARDING DR. RICHARD J. COTE, I examine and discuss the mysterious doctor's quotes published. I highly suspect "Richard Cote" to be fictional under the guise of multiple individual doctors with the same name. I HIGHLY, I HIGHLY RECOMMEND READING THIS POST! No medical professional would risk their reputation and profession by lying to the public!
Speaking of medical professionals, another interesting discovery.
Soaked in Bleach: featuring Forensic Pathologist Cyril Wecht.
Cyril Wecht, one of the most experienced and respected forensic pathologists in the world gives his opinion on the true cause of Kurt Cobain's death", is featured! Referring back to my post "logical fallacy", I examined and questioned Wecht's statements regarding the death of Chris Cornell.
"Soaked in Bleach" is praised among several Nirvana fans, a documentary released in 2015 examines the possible homicide over Kurt's official ruling of suicide. As you can see, Wecht is on camera and is said to "not buy into Kurt's suicide theory".
"I just think that it's a staged suicide is what I think that's the bottom line." - Cyril Wecht on Kurt Cobain's death.
I found it incredibly strange how the same pathologist finding Kurt Cobain's death to be staged like suicide, in a documentary released 2 years ago from Chris's death, was in favour of Chris's supposed drug abuse and suicide.
Wecht was quoted only in the Detroit news and Alternative Nation, and both publications I found to be highly suspect. Whether or not Wecht actually commented on Chris Cornell's death I can't be certain, but from Wecht's answers in the F.A.Q of the DETROIT NEWS. Police: DNA not sent to lab in Cornell death, I pointed out inaccuracies in his answers, and as I argued in my last post "logical fallacy", it only takes an expert's assertions to derail in critical thinking, independent research and common sense.
Recently, I suspected Chris did not actually take Ativan the night he passed although "larazepam" was in his system. In addition to there being no documented proof or testimony other than Vicky that Chris had abused drugs and relapsed, the photographs of the 3 bottles below, 2 of the bottles taken together and neither of them being in Chris's system, within the Medical Examiner's Case Registration Summary page 18 states, "There are prescription bottles for Omeprazole and Prednisone prescribed to the deceased. I did not observe any other medications, illicit substances, alcohol or tobacco products at the scene."
Many have pointed out the prescription for "larazepam" was prescribed separately from a different location. The grainy B&W close up photograph of the bottle of "larazepam" is suspicious.
Again, Medical Examiner's Case Registration Summary page 18 states, "There are prescription bottles for Omeprazole and Prednisone prescribed to the deceased. I did not observe any other medications, illicit substances, alcohol or tobacco products at the scene."
Where was the photograph of the "Lorazepam" taken? Notice that "Ativan" was heavily implied within the media despite the fact that a bottle of Ativan was never observed on scene in accordance with the reports!
As I've discussed in my last blog post "Fight Depression", well informed discussions of sensitive topics as addiction, depression and suicide IS THE KEY to prevention and proper medical treatment. I understand why several fans believe drug abuse, depression and suicide are what lead to Chris's abrupt demise considering his past, but PERSONAL RESEARCH is highly important! It is extraordinarily dangerous to apply inaccurate characteristics to a person all the while spreading misinformation, harming several people in the long term due to half truths, generalization and over exaggerations.
Do not take my word for it. Do not take their word for it. DO YOUR OWN HOMEWORK!
I still question the BUTALBITAL that was found in Chris's system, a heavy sedative acknowledged A YEAR after Chris died and apparently he had no prescription for! I've stated before in "dismissal part 2" that I strongly believe butalbital was administered to Chris the night he died WITHOUT his knowledge.
The "hands" of Martin Kirsten.
Not only are the hands photographed not likely to be of Martin Kirsten's, but those very hands I now believe ARE NOT EVEN FROM THE SAME BODY!!
Also, I find the photographs to be more like "photo shoots" as the gloved person swabbing in every photo strangely looks "posed". Are photographs of a CSI collecting physical and DNA evidence at a scene necessary? I've mentioned before how I strongly believe the images of room 1136 to be staged.
I had a "hand expert", basically an artist who draws from still life and human anatomy, look at the photograph after I browsed through my twitter feed and read a comment stating that the hands didn't belong to the same body. In addition to the hand expert, I had two co-workers of mine examine the hands and they came to the same conclusion, not the hands of the same body. Look REAL closely, and you'll see the fingers on the right hand are longer, a skinnier wrist, skin slightly darker and of a man's hand in comparison to the left hand, which the fingers are shorter, a wider wrist, lighter in skin tone and possibly of a woman's hand.
SOUNDGARDEN: Tension at the last gig & my final thoughts nearing the two year anniversary of Chris's mysterious death.
Why exactly was Soundgarden on tour without any new music to promote? Weren't they working on a new record? Was the band on tour by their choice?
To add in a bit of my perspective on Soundgarden's last show in Detroit, I found that there was tension, little chemistry between the bandmates, and Ben looking incredibly stiff and seemingly anxious for the concert to end. Even looking back at previous shows of that tour, Ben didn't look entirely thrilled to be on the road. Bored most of time and perhaps not wanting to be on tour just as Chris supposedly.
Before Soundgarden performed "Been Away To Long" in the following video, Chris turns around from the mic and walks back, but suddenly stops when he realized there was no guitar present and tuned for him to play. You see his body language translating to "oh okay, there's no guitar for me." He then proceeds back up to the microphone while staring intently at Kim for several seconds then says, "Featuring Kim Thayil on guitar. . ."
From the look it, Kim wasn't expecting the introduction and turns away from the screaming audience with his arm up, seemingly Kim's body language translating to, "Oh God, don't do that, don't look at me. . ." Chris with an annoyed "oh well" tone in his voice then says, ". . .apparently I don't have a back up guitar in its tuning its like to much to ask for."
As Chris again turns back away from the audience, Ben approaches Kim at the end of the video. Ben glaces over his shoulder at Chris for a second before turning to Kim, then Ben's body language and by his facial expression as his mouth moves seemingly translating to, "Yeah don't mind him, he's just an asshole."